Basilisk of Konoha
by Jharoz
Summary: It turns out that before the Genin Exams, a jonin returned from elongated abscence. With an attitude like Kakashi, and still covering up some part of his face, is Team 7 still up to the challenge he faces? Rated M for language, violence, and later lemons
1. New beginnings

**Hey, what's up. This is my first time trying out a story here on fan fiction so take it easy.. I'm looking at you Flying Fox of the Snowy Mountain!**

**Shikamaru: I don't understand why you would even WANT to do this… and why the hell did you drag me away from my cloud-watching?!**

**Me: Oh… you know… say stuff that involves me not owning Naruto… ya know.**

**Shikamaru: … Jharoz doesn't own Naruto or Air Soft… heh heh… That'd be sweet…**

**ON WITH THE STORY!!**

* * *

A blonde headed thirteen-year old woke up from a nice peaceful dream. His blue eyes shimmered as he yawned.

The day started out like any other day for one Naruto Uzumaki. He'd wake up, smile to himself, and brush his teeth, do all the cleanly stuff and whatnot… but then he realized today was special. Today was the day he finally decided to pass the damnable struggle called the Genin Exams. He hasn't failed the past two times, but rather not shown any interest in them. Naruto was strong, and had a hell of a lot of chakra. This time he just felt that now was the time to finally live up to his goal... Who the hell was he kidding; he is just tired of listening to Iruka bitching about how he should be paying more attention in class.

Naruto grinned into his mirror and brushed his teeth vigorously. He hadn't brushed his teeth last night because he was too tired from training and running away from the villagers. Oh, did you know Naruto was the container of the Nine-Tailed Fox, Kyuubi? CONTAINER. Sketch that into your brains that he has his own free will. However, the villagers are too ignorant and need a scapegoat to push their troubles away from the catastrophe that happened thirteen years past.

FLASHBACK

This demon monster was just… HUGE! The shinobi of the Leaf Village couldn't even begin to feel the tremors of its paws just adjusting itself to stand. Their secret forbidden jutsu only known to them, because of it lethality, just made the Kyuubi wonder if it had a tick on itself. The fight… scratch that. The MASSACRE continued with Leaf Shinobi falling to the ground, some of them wounded, others dead.

"Hold out, until the arrival of the Fourth Hokage!" Shouted one of the shinobis' commanding officers. That one command made everyone fight with new-born vigor. If anyone can defeat this beast, it would be the leader of them all.

And so it was said that as soon as a monster of equal height, and weight appeared, its body shadowed, with a tidbit notice of blonde between its eyes, the shinobi thought the monster was in trouble. Oh, but the Demon Fox had other plans; with a mighty leap towards its newfound enemy, it started yipping its large mouth; showing its razor-sharp teeth and it's eyes becoming strained with its overdose of power.

The shadow that loomed the other monster had finally lifted to show a… toad? With red skin? Wearing a coat, with a pipe in its mouth, and a dagger at its waist? This was the Fourth's ultimate summoning that was going to defeat the Kyuubi which others had failed at accomplishing? Seriously?!

The behemoth of a toad spit away his pipe and drew his dagger clashing it with the Nine-Tailed Fox, planting it in its side. The Fox howled in pain, jumped back, grabbed the dagger with its teeth, removed it, and tossed it aside. Kyuubi then snarled and pounced upwards, and sent a striking paw heading right for the toad. The toad jumped back, and landed gracefully, but still caused the ground to shake. Kyuubi's paw struck the ground creating a crater around it, effectively one mile long. Kyuubi tried to recover but its paw was delved too deep into the ground. Kyuubi could only watch and wait to see what its opponent would do to it.

The Fourth Hokage decided then was the time to strike, in a series of hand-seals, a spirit appeared that was all but invisible to everybody and everything but two: Kyuubi and the Fourth Hokage. The spirit launched itself at Kyuubi and in a bright light, a scream and a soul was sent into the bundle that was in the Fourth's arms. The Fourth Hokage grinned, but then clutched his heart, remembering the side-affects. "Gamabunta.." he said weakly. The toad looked up and actually SAID something! "What is it, Minato?" the toad know as Gamabunta said in an oddly gruff voice. "Be sure to tell Sarutobi… treat him like a hero… and a son…" Gamabunta nodded and then the Fourth dropped off Gamabunta's head and was sent face first to the ground. Dead.

The shinobi rushed to their leader only to discover that he was lifeless. Like a marionette with its strings cut off. The shinobis' cheerful mood was quickly soured with the taste of their dead leader. Then… the bundle in the Fourth's arms started to move! A shinobi quickly unraveled the bundle to show a bundle of blonde locks, eventually showing a baby with a seal on its stomach. That's the Fourth did. He sealed the beast in Naruto.

With that, the villagers decided that since the demon was inside Naruto, and the demon caused them pain and suffering, he should be rewarded with the exact same thing. Others that didn't weren't affected by Kyuubi's attack were just plain angry with the fact that some brat stole the life of one of the most promising Hokages so far.

END OF FLASHBACK

Naruto sighed sadly. He remembered that night, even though it was so long ago. Naruto finished brushing his teeth and then looked at the mirror, admiring himself.

Naruto is what you call, 'not your everyday thirteen year-old.' His blonde locks made him easily distinguishable in a crowd and his six lined marks, three on each cheek, significantly crushed his ability to ever be a spy. At first he wasn't wearing a top so you could see his rather toned body, though not even nearly toned enough, or so he thought. Naruto grinned to himself and placed on his clothes which consisted of a short-sleeved fishnet top, baggy orange pants, and an orange sleeveless-jacket that he didn't bother to zip-up that was laced with pockets for all sorts of storing and had a swirling circle on the back. As you can well imagine, the dude liked orange. **"Hey, Kit, are you finally gonna do it today? Pass the exams, I mean."**said an eerie voice. Naruto sighed. He knew of his tenant alright; Naruto and him could be considered best friends, actually. Kyuubi was just a big ol' loveable fuzz-ball when he is sealed up inside Naruto's stomach. But that didn't mean he could be so damn ANOYING! Always asking to lend his chakra when all he wants to do is go back in the outside world for a little bit. It tried Naruto's patience. A LOT.

'_Yes, Kyuubi. I'm sick and tired of going through all of this grunt crap with Iruka-sensei, and quite frankly, I remember seeing HIM sign up for the jonin team leaders,'_Naruto answered mentally to Kyuubi. He didn't have to talk when he didn't want to, and besides, Naruto prefers to think than talk. That's why he has a big brain, after all.

When he referred to 'him' he was speaking of the same young boy that saved him ten years ago. Though he never saw him six years afterward, he finally saw him, again. He noticed two things, though. He wore a black cloth sweatband over his eyes and had all sorts of marks all over the right side of his body **(A/N: If you don't know what I'm talking about… you'll see.)**. Naruto's goal in life is to some day be strong and kind like he was. Naruto never even knew his name, and yet he inspired him so greatly. Even though he might think the Genin Exams are complete shit, and a total waste of time… he needed to pass in order to have a chance at acquiring his goal. _'Kyuubi, it's time for us to head out, now…' _Naruto sang in his head.

Kyuubi put a mental paw to its fore-head. **"Naruto? **_**SINGING?**_** What kind of fucked up world is this?!"**Kyuubi said in complete shock. Naruto _NEVER_ sang!

* * *

**Leaf Village Academy**

Naruto was patiently waiting at his desk in a stadium-style room along with a few others around his age. Well… he wasn't waiting… he was more like… sleeping. Naruto never like the Academy. It only made him sleep. Then someone walked in, and the atmosphere changed dramatically for Naruto. That someone happened to be one Sakura Haruno, Naruto's love interest, and Sakura had a thing for Naruto, too. She would constantly show it indirectly, though she never thought he'd understand. Oh that's a sack of crap. Naruto is too sharp for that.

Sakura wasn't what you would consider the 'average girl.' She had short pink hair and quite the fore-head to see. I mean it was just so VISIBLE! Her choice in clothing was red sleeveless zip-up, a belt filled to the brim with medical equipment, and green biker shorts. Her piercing green eyes could instantly tell if you were lying. Lastly her bust was quite the marvel considering she was only thirteen, like Naruto.

Naruto looked up at Sakura and flashed her a toothy grin, his signature move that always got Sakura into a little bit of a fluster. "Hey, Sakura-chan. What's up?" Naruto said nonchalantly as he stretched out his arms after his nap.

Sakura's face got a little hotter at seeing his grin. His canines looked perfect to bite into her skin, taking her forcefully to show that she belonged to him and no other bitch could take away her lover… _'Dammit, you pervert! WHY must you constantly follow me around?!'_Sakura thought to her perverted inner self.

"_**Because I'm you! And you KNOW you got the hots for Uzumaki, and I can't blame you! Look at his build! He is your thirteen-year-old version of Adonis! Ooooh, I can't WAIT until I can get some of his great co-" **_Sakura's inner self was subconsciously shut up before she could start to get into the details of how she totally wants Naruto's insert rooster synonym shoved right into her, insert cat synonym. God, what an annoying little pervert!

"Hey, Naruto. I'm just a little worried over the exams. I can do the basic jutsus pretty good, but I don't think I can do it good enough!" Sakura wailed. Oh, what a load of shit that is. She was perfectly fine when it came to the jutsus. To be completely honest, she just wanted Naruto to support her again. As in, she would take a seat next to him, he'd put his arm around her back and pull her into a light hug.

And that's exactly what happened. Naruto patted the seat next to him which she gladly took. He slid his right arm behind Sakura's back and pulled her closer than needed. "Sakura-chan, that's exactly what's gonna happen if you don't believe in yourself. You need to learn that with self-confidence comes success and with success comes a good life." Naruto said in a tone that said 'hey, just because I'm treated like shit, doesn't mean I don't know how to live life.'

Sakura mock-cried and clung herself close to Naruto, and pressed herself against him in an embrace. "Oh Naruto!" she cried. Naruto blushed, of course. Why wouldn't he, though? You have the girl you love giving you a big hug, with her boobs practically smashing right against your chest. Then he thought about it and inwardly sighed; how many times has this happened, now? Then again, boobies were cool… Oh well, it DOES feel nice to have something so soft rub against your chest, every now and then.

Naruto struggled to not lose any blood in this situation and patted her back gently and soothingly. "There, there… everything will be fine… after this, we might even end up on the same team together. And if you pass, I just might pay for the ramen bill. " Naruto said soothingly. Sakura gasped like she had never heard of that idea before, but it was the best idea yet.

"That'd be great!" Sakura mused. It's not like she hadn't thought of that before, though. I mean come on! Who _WOULDN'T_ want to be on this hot piece of ass's team?! As if on cue, a boy with a scowl on his face walked by, his jet-black hair styled to look like that of a chicken's ass.

As he passed by the blossoming couple he sighed the sigh all emos do. "Talk about public affection.." he muttered to himself. Well, in Naruto's case not to himself. Naruto can hear WAY better than normal. Naruto whispered something into Sakura's ear and she reluctantly got off of her 'Adonis.'

Naruto stood up and did a mock-voice of that of another emo, "Talk about a total chip-off-the-old-stick-up-your-ass." With that he sat back down next to Sakura; a few snickers being heard across the room.

Though Sakura and Naruto never noticed it, the whole entire class assembled with a man wearing a green vest, brown hair, and had a cut across the middle of his nose, standing at the front of the class. They hadn't noticed it at all because they were too busy having a 'moment.'

With everyone settled down the man stepped forward and said in a calm, but commanding tone, "Well, now that Naruto and Sakura are done sharing smells, why don't we start this exam up, shall we?" Naruto and Sakura instantly blushed while a bunch of laughs were thrown throughout the class. All of the Leaf Village adolescents knew that Sakura and Naruto had a _thing_ for each other. They just didn't know what kind of _thing_ it was.

Iruka left the classroom and walked into the back room. Naruto was ready for this, he had to do it. A shout was heard from the backroom. "Abruame Shino!" This was it. The Genin Exams had begun.

* * *

After many names being called and every owner of said name came out with a fore-head protector and a shit-eating grin on their face, there were only two names left to call. Each one starts with a 'U!' You guessed it; Uchiha Sasuke and Uzumaki Naruto. "Uchiha Sasuke!" Bellowed the same gruff voice that was there at the very start. Said emo took his time going down the steps, completely over-confident. Entering the back room in the classroom, he opened the sliding door with a smug look on his face, directed to Naruto. Said teenager proceeded to challenge this wordless argument by giving Sasuke the finger; keeping it up until Sasuke disappeared behind that door.

A few moments later, Sasuke reappeared and left the classroom saying only two words to Naruto before exiting. "Fifteen clones." Naruto sighed to himself. Prick, much?

"Uzumaki Naruto!" came the voice from behind the door. Naruto calmly stood up and opened the door, seeing the playing field that he must go through in order to take his first step.

It was a roomy area with no windows, designed for a genin's utmost concentration. At the end of the room there was a desk with leaf shinobi fore-head protectors. Behind it sat the same man who spoke to the class earlier, and wore an exasperated look on his face, and a mildly ticked-off white haired man who was garbed in the same clothing as his companion. "Ok, Naruto. You're the last one up. All we ask for is just three simple clones." After hearing that, Naruto's face blew into an all-out grin that almost split his face in half.

"Can it be ANY type of clones?" Naruto asked, confusing both men.

"Uh.. Yeah sure… whatever floats your boat.." said the white haired man.

Naruto place his two index and middle fingers, shaping it to form a cross. "Shadow Clone Jutsu!" Naruto called out, shocking the two men observing him. With that, six puffs of smoke appeared beside him, three on the left and three on the right. When the smoke cleared seven Narutos were seen. The white haired man walked up to one of the clones and poked its cheek. The clone instantly retaliated, smacking his hand away. "Hey, I resent that!" the clone shouted.

The white-haired man inched his way back to his seat and looked at his companion. "He made six solid clones. I think it's time to finally let go of him." the white-haired man said with a smile **(A/N: Mizuki is going to be good in this fic, alright?! I want to see what would happen if he actually WAS good. Don't like it? TOUGH!)**. His companion scratched the back of his head.

"I suppose you're right. Naruto? You passed, congratulations!" the man with the brown hair stated. "Just one question, though. How in the HELL did you learn the Shadow Clone Jutsu?!" He asked violently. Naruto grinned, swiped a fore-head protector, and dispelled his clones.

"Trade secret." Naruto said with fox-like grin. Like hell he would tell Iruka-sensei about how Kyuubi helps him training!

* * *

**Ichiriku Ramen Stand…**

Naruto and Sakura were found slurping up some noodles from a barstool, both of them wearing their fore-head protectors proudly, however Sakura wore hers around her neck. Either way, it was still sexy to Naruto, and that's all that matters. Naruto was happily munching away at his ramen, inhaling it, but in a dignified manner. Sakura… eating it the same way. For both of them, their second love HAD to be ramen, no questions asked or your throat will be slit. Teuchi stared at his two best customers, trying to find something out between the two that he just couldn't figure out; even if his life depended on it. He shrugged. _'Oh well, at least they still pay for the ramen. And I'm still making money!'_

"So, Sakura-chan. Who do you think is gonna be on your team?" Naruto asked through a mouthful of noodles. Hey, he loved ramen, so?!

Sakura gulped down her noodles and looked over at Naruto. "Well… hm… I'unno." with that, she went back to viciously slurping up noodles. In her head, however, her answer was simple. _'NARUTO! I don't care who the other person is, I just want Naruto on my team!'_And the same thing was going through Naruto's mind, he just wanted his Sakura-chan on his team. His other teammate wouldn't matter. He just wanted Sakura-chan on his team!

A shadowed man sitting on the roof of the ramen stand heard every single word exit the two teens' mouths. If you looked close enough, you could barely see a grin etched on his face.

"Heh, if these two are on my team… being a sensei wouldn't be too bad.."

* * *

**And that's a wrap! I love doing this…**

**To clear a bunch of shit up, by the way…**

**1.) Sakura and Naruto are in love with each other, sure, but making them date right at the beginning is not my style of writing! However, if enough people agree to it… what the hell? I'll give it a go.**

**2.) Kyuubi helps Naruto train because, hey, he is killing two birds with one stone. He prevents himself from dieing because he has a strong-willed container and Naruto and Kyuubi are on good terms, so he wants Naruto to get stronger because it's the right thing to do! Naruto won't be God, though. That just screws up the whole idea of having a new sensei.**

**3.) Mizuki shall stay living in this fic! I know, it kinda messes up the plot line with the fact that Naruto doesn't even get to hear Iruka's crappy speech about how he and Naruto should be considered family. BORING!**

**4.) Sasuke WILL be bashed by me. A LOT. And he will be bashed by Naruto. A LOT. And when Shikamaru will do the disclaimer, he might throw in a Sasuke bash in, or two. THE POINT IS(!!), Sasuke is going to be bashed. HARD.**

**5.) To answer the stupid ramen question, they always go to Ichiriku's after an academy day. Both want it to be a date but are too stupid and naïve to suggest it. -.-**

**But maybe, if I have enough people say yes; their relationship will be bumped up a couple chapters. shrugs**

**Ja ne!**

**-Jharoz**


	2. Kasue sensei!

_**AHAHA!! People, your reviews are like music to my ears! Though, there are a couple of reviews I wanna answer…**_

_**The frozen moon: Who the hell ever said it was in alphabetical order?**_

_**Rasengan Master: Thank you for complementing my fic, but if you notice; Mizuki dies BECAUSE of his betrayal? Eh? EH?!**_

_**Wind797: How can you talk that long and not take a breath?! But yeah; I'll keep Naruto and Sakura where they are. The wet dreams part..? …. Maybeeee….**_

_**Shikamaru: And blah, blah… thanks to all those who reviewed to the first chapter… and if you remember seeing on the first chapter: Jharoz don't own not no Naruto! But he and I are planning a lawsuit, don't worry.**_

_**And the story continues with CHAPTER 2!!**_

* * *

Another day, another chase for Uzumaki Naruto. We currently find him running down the main road, a mob of villagers in tow, both of them sprinting. Why, you ask? Naruto wants to get to the academy before the villagers get him and the villagers want to shove their pitchforks into Naruto before he gets into the academy. It's a fifty-fifty chance, but Naruto has the better of them. Crossing his index and middle fingers into the familiar cross-shape, he called out, "Shadow Clone Jutsu!"

With that, five Narutos instantly popped into the air and split up, with the real Naruto taking a short-cut over a fence. Proves why villagers can't be ninja: they can't tell shit if a pigeon flew over them.

* * *

**Leaf Village Academy**

Naruto rested his head down on his desk, with Sakura sitting next to him. Sakura inspected the bruises that Naruto had from the villagers chucking avocadoes and other fruits and vegetables at him. She hated seeing Naruto banged up, which is half the reason she carried around her medical belt. The other half is about her runner-up dream, but you'll learn about it later.

With the class in a fuss, the brown-haired man from the other day chucked a book, trying to hit any people who were talking so they can just shut up, and hit a certain emo smack in the fore-head; effectively knocking him out. A few girls sitting around him were freaked-the-fuck out. Voices were barely heard practically all mentioning the welfare of Sasuke. "Ooh, Sasuke-kun… I bet it hurt…" one voice said. "Here, let me kiss it, and make it better…" said another. With that, Sasuke instantly woke up.

"Stay. The. Fuck. Away. From. Me." was all Sasuke said before going up to the front row of seats so the man who threw the book could keep an eye on him._ 'What is it with these girls..? Can't they just accept the fact that I'm more interested in cutting my wrists than spending time with them?'_ Sasuke thought. He never liked his fan-girls. Never had, never will. With all the commotion settled down, the man up front decided to speak again.

"Good morning, graduates! It's good to see so many fresh new ninja get ready to serve this village! I shall now assign you to your teams, and after that we'll have a recession period of an hour. Then you must return to class so your jonin sensei can pick you up. Everyone ready?" said the man in his speech that he had to say every damn year. The class all said in sort of a groany-voice, 'Yes, Iruka-sensei..' With that, the man named Iruka began to call out the teams. "Team One consists of Uriki Sanjou, Ay-"

Was all that Naruto heard until he dozed off. School sucked. Even IF you're about to leave the shit hole… it still sucked.

Naruto's ears perked up when he heard a familiar name: his. "Team Seven consists of Uzumaki Naruto.." Iruka began and instantly, Sakura crossed her fingers. _'Please let me be with Naruto.. PLEASE LET ME BE WITH NARUTO!!'_ she repeated over and over again. "..Haruno Sakura…" Iruka continued. Sakura then jumped out of her seat and cheered. And cheered. And cheered.

"TAKE THAT, BITCHES!! YOU THINK YOU CAN BE WITH NARUTO?! HUH?! WELL FORGET IT! HE IS MIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIINEEE!!" Sakura called out, waving her middle fingers in the air, flicking off any who saw. Naruto sighed. He was happy that she was on his team, but… it's not THAT big of a deal…

A loud hacking cough from the front of the room ended Sakura's cheer-leader impression. "Are you quite done, Sakura?" Iruka asked. Sakura quickly melted into her seat with an, 'I'm sorry, Iruka-sensei..' Iruka cleared his throat and began to speak. "Well, I was about to say the third member of Team Seven before Sakura over here decided to become an animal…" This statement enticed a few giggles, but were instantly shut up with a glare from Naruto. "The final member of Team Seven is, Uchiha Sasuke." With that, many female groans were heard, including one male.

"No way that asshole is gonna be on my team!" Naruto shouted. Hey, he didn't like the bastard, who did besides a couple of fan-girls and gay guys? Iruka sighed and pretended to not hear Naruto's speech of displeasure.

"Team Eight consists of Hyuuga Hinata, Abruame Shino, and Inuzuka Kiba. Team Nine consists of Madareme Huzi, Kintan Kore, and Jokken Hoze. Team Ten consists of Nara Shikamaru, Yamanka Ino, and Akimichi Chouji. Those are all the teams! We'll take a quick lunch break/recession period and then the jonin senseis will pick you up. Ja ne!" Iruka finished calling all the names and quickly ran into the back room. Calling out teams can be so damn FRUSTRATING!!

* * *

**Leaf Village Academy's Park Area…**

Naruto sat up in a tree happily inhaling his heated ramen that he brought with him to school. Since he was by himself, screw manners! He could take the cup and swallow the whole thing if he wanted! Who ever said that you had to have manners, even by yourself? 'Cause Naruto would like to meet him! "Oh Narutooooo," sang a voice that Naruto knew all too well. Damn it… now he can't shovel down his ramen like he wanted to…

Sakura was ecstatic about having Naruto on her team, even if it meant having Sasuke on her team, too. Why not push further, though? Have lunch with Naruto, maybe? "Mind if I join you for lunch? I got some extra miso ramen for us to share…" Sakura called up. That hit the nail on the head. Who in their fucking right mind _WOULDN'T_ want miso ramen?! Especially since it has that extra flavor?! RAMEN!!

Naruto nodded his head vigorously and patted the branch he was sitting on. Sakura didn't have that much of a problem climbing it, and sat down on the branch next to Naruto. Sakura unpacked the lunch that she was going to share with Naruto, and threw away the extra chopsticks she was going to give to Naruto. This made Naruto raise an eyebrow. "Were you _planning_ on having lunch with me, Sakura-chan?" Naruto asked in a suspicious voice. He knew what the answer was going to be, of course…

Sakura's face instantly reddened and turned her face away. "Maybee…" she said, drawn-out. In her head, however… it was a different story. Preferably, Inner Sakura answered the question. _**"FUCKING YES! I WANT TO SLURP RAMEN OF YOUR CHISLED ABS, YOU FUCKING BEAST! THEN, ONCE I'M DONE, YOUR DICK IS GONNA BE MY DESERT!! YOU HEAR ME?! I WILL DEVOUR YOUR COCK!" **_Inner Sakura continued to rant about how Naruto seriously needs to fuck her until she can't even tell red from green, but Sakura opted to ignore her.

… Sort of. A few ideas really piqued her interest and she started writing down notes as if she were some kind of psychologist, listening and taking down notes. Either way; the positions Inner Sakura _REALLY_ turned her on. After one of her bites of ramen she would bite down on her chopsticks to relieve the stress of cuming **(A/N: I know I spelt it wrong. THINK ABOUT THE JOKE!)** into in orgasm-like frenzy. If that happened; Naruto would be sore for a LONG time…

* * *

**An Hour Later, back in the Classroom…**

After an hour of eating, and talking, and getting used to the new team members; everyone returned to the classroom in relative ease. Everyone except for Naruto and his pinkette lover(?). You see, while the two were eating, Naruto smelt something. Something radiating off of Sakura. And that smell made him horny. _REALLY REALLY REALLY HORNY._ As for Sakura, the smell WAS her hornieness. If given the chance, she would have both ripped of their garb and fuck six ways Sunday. _'I'm getting sick of your damned perverted thoughts!'_ Sakura commented.

'_**I'll stop it once you stuff his dick in your mouth!'**_ Inner Sakura battled. Of course; the bond was severed and Inner Sakura was nowhere to be heard. Iruka stood up and said what he always loved to say at the end of the year: "Leave with your jonin senseis, once they arrive. Until then, feel free to… how do the kids say it these days… 'mingle,' with your… erm… 'homies." Iruka shuddered. How is it that such young kids butcher our language so much?!

In less than two minutes, the door was blasted off from its hinges and every one sitting from their desk could only see a sandaled foot. "You could have just opened it.." a female voice commented.

"Where is the fun in that?" a masculine voice answered. With that, three people walked in: two men and one woman. The first man had gruff-looking hair and hadn't shaved since puberty. He had a cigarette in his mouth, and he was garbed in the regular jonin material. Most notably, though, was a sash worn along his waist labeled, 'Sarutobi.' He wore his fore-head protector like everyone else should: on his fore-head.

The second man looked nothing like a jonin. He had black hair that ran down to the middle of his back, garbed in regular black shinobi pants and wore a black sleeveless zip-up vest. The three things that would have thrown you off were: he had a black sweat band over his eyes, had odd black tattoos running along the right side of his body, and he had a sheathed katana at his waist. He, too, had his fore-head protector on… well… his fore-head.

The woman looked nothing like a jonin, as well. She wore wraps all over her torso and upper legs, turning it into a make-shift dress. She had piercing red eyes and sleek brown hair. Most notable was an odd red sleeve on her left arm. She too, wore her fore-head protector on her fore-head.

Each of them spoke at the same time, so it sounded like: "Team seveighten, come with me." Of course, no one moved. The man with the black hair sighed. "I'll go first: Team Seven; come with me." The burly man said, "Team Ten; come with me." The woman said, "Team Eight: come with me."

Each and every genin in those teams rose and followed their respective leader. Naruto and Team Seven's leader cheered inwardly. Naruto: he got the sensei he wanted. Team Seven's leader: he got the two students he saw yesterday. This was gonna be fun.

Team Seven's leader led them up to the roof. He instructed them to sit down on the bench. They did as they were told and he sat at the curb of the building. "Yo, what's up, guys? I'm hoping you're ready for a good time at being a ninja, because it's MUCH more enjoyable than what I went through." the leader chuckled. "Anyways, we're gonna introduce ourselves because I have no idea who the hell you are. I'll start; you follow my example. I'm Uchiha Kasue. My likes happen to be resting, and eating strawberries. Don't ask about the strawberries; it's just a fetish of mine. I dislike… hmm… Lightening Country. My goal is to… well… it's being achieved right now. Ok, blondie; you first!"

Team Seven sat there, dumbly. Wasn't the entire Uchiha clan supposed to be wiped out, besides Itachi?! Sasuke was especially having a hard time comprehending with all of this. Could it be that he has family members still alive, scattered across the continent?! Naruto broke out of his state of shock and spoke, "Err.. I'm Uzumaki Naruto. I like to train, eat ramen, and I like Sakura-chan! I dislike… emos… and my goal is to… become like you, Kasue-sensei…" Kasue didn't seem surprised by it. He knew about the day he saved Naruto, and what he said.

* * *

FLASHBACK!!

A raggedly breathing Naruto was hiding in the corner of an alleyway being beaten horribly by the villagers. He knew he couldn't fight back because that would entice them to bring more villagers. They had knives, pitchforks, loaded sacks of potatoes, anything that could hurt if you hit someone with it!

Faster than the eye can see; a kunai knife was lodged into a villagers skull, killing him in an instant. When the group looked over to the dead villager, than back at the Kyuubi DEMON(!!), a boy about the age of twelve was standing there with his arms outstretched; his eyes glinting red showing the Sharingan. The villager were thrown off; why would anyone want to help something that caused so much destruction?! "Are you an imbecile, kid?! Get out of the way so we can kill the Kyuubi brat!" one of the villagers shouted; the crowd agreeing without even the slightest bit disdain for killing.

The youth sighed and went into an unfamiliar fighting stance that hasn't been seen in quite some time. "ANBU who is hiding over in the corner; be sure to remember they enticed me to do this." The boy then charged at the first of twelve villagers; rearing his fist back, he punched him in the shoulder; breaking his bone. Another villager charged, his club at the ready, and swung downwards. The youth side-stepped the attack and sent a knock out punch right at the villager's nose. A villager lunged at the boy, knife in hand, and attempted to stab him. The boy jumped up and landed, both feet, on the villager's shoulders. The boy then kicked him with his right foot, propelling the boy upward, and bicycle-kicking a villager in the back of his skull.

Landing gracefully on his feet, the youth threatening asked, "Any of you others wanna fight? I can do this all day." With that, the villagers scrambled away, dragging their four injured buddies muttering curses at the boy. The youth ignored it and knelt down in front of Naruto. "Hey, you alright?" he asked. The boy frightfully shook his head. "C'mon, let's get you to the hospital." he said in caring tone.

Naruto never forgot that day: the first time someone showed him kindness.

END FLASHBACK!!

* * *

With Naruto done, Kasue called his next… victim. "Pinkie." was all he said. This created a rather large tinge mark to appear on Sakura's rather large fore-head, but she controlled her anger; next time, though…

"I'm Haruno Sakura. I like training, flowers, ramen, and Naruto! I dislike those who think highly of themselves when they can't even tell their ass from their elbow. My dreams are…" she blushed, "well, my runner-up dream is to reestablish the medical ninja corps." Sakura said in a rush. Her dream she was about to say was Inner Sakura's idea. _'My dream is to get into Naruto's pants?! Nice one.' _Sakura commented sarcastically.

'_Oh, we got an aspiring Tsunade here, eh? She'll probably do some good.'_ Kasue silently mused in his head. His last victim was actually his distant cousin; not like he didn't know that. "Chicken's-ass." Kasue deadpanned. Naruto chuckled and whispered to Sakura, "I'm liking our sensei more and more! We think the exact same thing!"

Sasuke sighed; emoly. "My likes are training, and… cutting myself. My dislikes are my brother, fan-girls, and the society of the Hidden Leaf Village as a whole. My _AMBITION_ is to kill my brother, Uchiha Itachi." Sasuke said, in a dark voice. With that, Kasue sighed. _'He needs to get out more…'_ he commented in his head.

"Well! Now that I know all of you; I think it's time to make things more interesting. Tomorrow you three are going to be taking the _REAL_ genin exam. Not that pussy one where all you have to do is conjure up a few measly clones, no. This one will push you to the limit to search the meaning of _WHY_ you were put into three-man cells. Meet me at Training Field Five at Seven A.M. So, see you tomorrow!" Kasue said, and with that, he jumped off the building. The three genin were shocked to see this and even more shocked to see him bounce back up and land on his feet. "Oh! And don't eat breakfast; or you'll hurl." With _THAT_ he jumped off the building and zoomed of to his hovel.

"Well… that was a shocker…" Naruto said, as he stood up and helped Sakura up. With that; the three genin left each other with a simple 'good-bye,' and left to go to their homesteads to prepare for the hell Kasue-sensei had prepared for them.

* * *

**Sakura's Home…**

Sakura opened the front door to be instantly toppled over by her mother, Saeki. "Oh, sweetie! I heard you were paired with that boy! Maybe now you have a chance to get your freak on with him!" Saeki squealed. Sakura instantly blushed. WHO ELSE KNOWS ABOUT THE FACT SHE LOVES THE BLONDIE?!

Zooms out to show the entire village and its members raise their hand

Sakura sighed. Yup, life was just fucking _SWELL. _"Yeah, mom. Naruto is on my team; I can't wait to see the first thing Kasue-sensei has for us tomorrow!" Saeki looked at Sakura as if she had grown a dick. "What? What?!"

"Honey… did you just say 'Kasue-sensei'?" Sakura nodded her head. Saeki absorbed that knowledge and sighed dreamily. "WHAT ABOUT HIM?!" Sakura commanded/asked. Saeki re-evolved back into her former self. "Kasue was the brightest of all Uchiha and… my first crush. But what happened was: he went on a mission when he was eleven and never returned. It was a shocker alright, but then your father who had been my best friend helped me get over the obstacle of him being gone. Your father listened to me and that's how you were spawned. Your daddy is a beast I tell you.."

Sakura covered her ears with her hands and said three words. "TMI, mom. TMI."

**Aw, that was fucking **_**GREAT.**_** This shit gets better and better!**

**As you all know: thanks to wind797, Sakura and Naruto will be friends until I wish. That sucks for all of you who wanted them to fuck early! MUWHAHA!!**

**Ahem; anyways. Kasue isn't going to be main main. His story is gonna be revealed and then he's just going to be Kakashi-**_**like.**_** I say that because Kasue has his own feelings, too!**

**As always: Read. Rave. Review.**

**Ja ne!**

**Jharoz**


	3. The next exam and a bigass dog!

**How'd ya like that?! TITLE CHANGE! And to go on…**

**Uh-huh. That's what I thought. Fast relationships can drop down the shitter for all I care. Naruto and Sakura, although they _CLEARLY_ wanna fuck until they can't sit down for the next month, will not do so. Why? Because they haven't been on a damn official date, yet. **

**So! Anyone up to see two hormonally stressed adolescents have fantasies of swapping tar-tar sauces? For all those who need me to dumb it down: Is everyone ready to see two horny teenagers imagine themselves fucking with the other? _CAUSE I AM_!…**

… **Sucks to be you guys, though! This chapter is_ ALL_**** about the bell exam and shit like that! So for all of you people who want Naruto and Sakura to fuck right now; here is a suggestion.**

**Masturbate.**

**And I'm gonna talk with wind797! I shall answer his next review!**

**Wind797: First and foremost; is oxygen the last thing that comes to mind while talking?! Besides that, Inner Sakura has been perverted since cavemen decided that the wheel was the shit. Naruto's acute sense of smell is pushing him over his limit! There are gonna be some cherries popped sooner or later; whether it's Naruto popping Sakura's is yet to be confirmed … and yes! MY PERVERTED MIND SHALL CONTINUALLY MAKE COMENTS SUCH AS THE ONE I SUGGESTED! … I like talking with you… is coo'.**

**Lastly; I noticed I'm not getting as many reviews as I please. I must hear the people speak highly! Therefore, I REFUSE to update until this fic hits 25 reviews! So stick that up your mouth and suck it!**

**Let's roll on over to Shikamaru, who is clearly not humored by the fact that I just told everyone to do what he does all night. Shikamaru?**

**Shikamaru: … I will fucking KILL you. I'm to stab Sasuke to death, then use his dead body like a filled potato sack to physically beat you until your ball sack fucking falls off!**

**Me: … That last statement made it sound like you wanted to give me a hand-job. YOU SICK, SICK, FREAK! Besides; where is my damn disclaimer?!**

**Shikamaru: Sleep with one eye open, Jharoz… After suing Kishimoto Masashi, we realized a fault in chapter 347. It was originally Jharoz's idea! So, we might actually win this fucking case! FUCKING YES!**

**Sai: Penis penis penis!**

**Jiraya: That's pervert for, 'let's get this fucking thing over with!'**

* * *

**Training Ground Five; 6:50 a.m.**

Naruto, Sakura, and Sasuke all looked like they had hangovers from last night's party. Even though there never was one. Naruto, was spread all over the branch he was sitting on, trying to get some damned sleep; while Sakura and Sasuke were having a conversation about how the exam would work and how they should act in any scenario. "Couldn't Kasue-sensei come _AT LEAST_ a bit earlier? I mean, a wise man once said: 'The early bird catches the worm.'" Sakura commented. After she finished that statement, she saw Kasue leaning against her back, acting like he was there the whole time.

"I'm not the bird, Sakura. I'm the snake. While the idiotic bird flies to find food for its chickadees, I make my breakfast into the chickadees. Either way; the bird that shipped itself off to find food, its life is summed up in one word: fucked." Kasue dryly said. With that, Kasue pushed off Sakura's back, dodged her swipe at him,and landed on his feet. "Ooh, feisty. I'm shaking in my sandals. Naruto! Get over here; it's high time we all finally got this exam over with."

Naruto groaned and jumped off of his branch, just in time to constrict Sakura from viciously whipping out at Kasue. Sure, that was a bastard-like move on his part, but hey; it's his way of intimidation, and you need all the simulates you can get in order to complete a mission. Now you're wondering how Naruto knows this? Well, Sakura had a hand on his leg the whole entire time so he couldn't fall asleep. So there you go.

"Listen up! As you all know; you took the test to become genin, right?" Kasue questioned, which resulted in the trio to nod. Kasue grinned. "Well… that exam seemed too easy to me, so I'm going to make you take another one. One that will press your wits to the very limits of your head. It's make or break for you guys, because if you fail… I'll strip you of your genin rank and ship you right on back to the Academy so you can go over the same shit… again." Kasue stated darkly, which made the trio blanch and fall to the ground.

"THAT'S COMPLETE SHIT!" shouted Naruto with hands waving in the air for emphasis. What kind of fucked up shit is this?! Kasue grinned darkly.

"That's what I said when I took this test," he said as he reached into his dual shinobi pack to reveal two bells. Naruto's head cocked to the side to show his genuine curiosity.

"I think I already have a rough draft of this idea, but how are we going all join Team Seven if there are only two bells? I mean, there are three of us," Naruto said with hint of suspicion in his voice. What kind of shit is he trying to pull?!

"Well, that's the thing. What's the point of having a team if you don't utilize them? This exercise is to pinpoint the use of teamwork. The reason I'm telling you this right now, is because you're all going to be useless if you don't know how to work to-fucking-gether. So, from now on we're all family. But that's not the point. You have until noon to grab these two bells," Kasue said before placing them on his belt, "the two who get the bells will have a guaranteed spot on the team. The odd man out… I will decide their fate depending on how you retrieve the bells. Everyone ready? If not, who the hell cares? You must always be on alert! BEGIN!"

With that, all three genin hid themselves; waiting for an opening. Kasue scratched his head and sat down on a stump. _'They know how to hide themselves, very well. If this continues: I might actually have to hunt them down… nah. I'll wait for them.' _Kasue thought. Exerting energy is such a waste of time…

* * *

**With Naruto…**

Naruto finished explaining his plan to his clones, and they nodded in return. "Find them! Quickly! And bring their asses back over here! We need to get those bells as a team!" Naruto quietly instructed to his clones as they jumped off to the races.

* * *

**Later…**

Sakura, and a disgruntled Sasuke were finally reunited with Naruto. "Alright. We all know that Kasue-sensei wants us to work as a team, right? Well. I have the perfect idea…" Naruto began to tell his ingenious scheme to Sakura and Sasuke. By the time he finished, both looked like they just heard that they won 5,000,000 ryo.

"That's a pretty good idea, Naruto," Sasuke said coolly. Naruto just shook his head. That guy could NEVER be cool…

* * *

**With Kasue…**

Kasue was silently humming to himself when he felt the genins' presence nearby. He didn't flinch in the slightest, and never even bothered to turn around. "Coming to join me, Naruto?" Kasue called out. With that, Naruto climbed out of the brush; two shadow clones in tow.

"Well, Kasue-sensei, I've been waiting for _at least_ two minutes…" Naruto called out. It took him that long to find him?!

"And I gave you those two minutes to say your prayers." Kasue drawled, not moving an inch. The three Narutos got into a triangular position, surrounding Kasue, who has yet to even tap his finger.

"Tell me this, Kasue-sensei… how is packing eyes like yours if you're not even gonna use them?!" Naruto said before all three charged at Kasue. Kasue, remained indifferent about the idea, but his interest was piqued by the question.

"Heh, Naruto…" Kasue trailed off before upper cutting one of the clones, dispelling it out of existence, "… the reason I don't use these eyes…" Kasue then brought his foot up, and axle-kicked the next clone, breaking its skull before dispelling, "… is because they're so overrated." Kasue finished by holding Naruto up in the air by his fishnet's collar. "What did I _JUST_ say, two hours ago?! You're a part of a team! So…" Kasue started off, and the twirled Naruto around like a baton, "… use your team! One is useless while three is power! Look through the deception of a ninja's tricks to decimate them!" Kasue finished and then threw Naruto into a tree…

A shadow clone, that is. Once he came in contact with the tree, it puffed out of existence. With that Kasue sighed. While his head was down to take in a new breath he heard, "Fireball Jutsu!" Kasue's head snapped over to the sound to see a giant flame collide right into his face; torching it.

While Kasue was… acting extremely calm over the fact that his face was fucking on fire(!!), it was Sakura's turn to act. Sakura summoned up an elongated chakra scalpel on her index finger, and cut the strings attached to the bells at his waistband. Once the sound of the bells falling entered Kasue's eardrums, he immediately made a lunge to swipe them back.

Too late, though. Naruto zoomed in quick enough to snatch the bells in the air. With that he grouped up with Sasuke and Sakura and stood in front of him, his fingers shaped like a "V." Too bad they forgot to notice that Kasue's face was still on fire! Kasue sighed, _'Fucking genin. Was I this stupid when I was one?!'_ Kasue blew a slight breeze from his mouth like he wanted to rearrange his bangs, and the fire cleared. "Well! We got a healthy bunch, don't we? Well executed plan; except for one thing. Naruto, you shouldn't have wasted that much chakra to create those shadow clones. You only needed yourself in order to create the diversion so Sasuke could do the fireball jutsu. Then, recover from your tumble while your enemy is freaking so once Sakura cuts the strings you pick up the scraps. Other than that; swell job, guys!" said Kasue in his 'sensei' tone. With that, the bell that Kasue rigged to ring at noon went off and Kasue scratched his head, and suggested, "Who's up for some food and after that; our first mission? Food's my treat." Naruto and Sakura looked at each other, than back at Kasue and blasted him back five feet with their answer.

"FUCKING RAMEN!!"

* * *

**At the 'Fucking Ramen' Stand…**

Naruto and Sakura would be found inhaling their ramen like always, Sasuke eating his in a dignified manner and Kasue just slurping it up. "Mphey, Kasthue-sensethi, bwy bue bue bwave a phandage ova byour beyes?" Naruto asked through a shit load of noodles.

"Wha-?" was Kasue's intelligent response. Naruto swallowed his ramen and asked the question, again.

"What's the _REAL_ reason you have a bandage over your eyes?" Naruto asked, searchingly. If he was gonna follow this guy; he needed some damn answers.

Kasue sighed. His story was not the longest one, but it was one filled with pain and torment. "Well, you see… ten years ago…

* * *

_**FLASHBACK!!**_

A young Kasue wearing a green chunnin vest exited the hospital and muttered to himself, "Damn, what is it about the Kyuubi that makes people just want to slit their wrists?" With that, he stopped walking on a bridge over the Leaf Village Creek, with two people wearing the same vest he was. One being a girl, the other, a boy. **(A/N: Fuck describing them; just let your mind flutter…)**

The girl blushed at Kasue's presence. Then again, half of the Leaf Village's younger female population had a crush on the Uchiha prodigy. "Hey, Kasue-kun… ready for our mission?" she asked.

Kasue sighed, knowing this mission will somehow be a fuck up. "As I'll ever be…"

* * *

_**TIMESKIP, 5 DAYS!!**_

Kasue's breath was ragged as he looked over to his teammates…

… or what was _LEFT_ of his teammates. "Hinru! Kinura-chan!" Kasue called out. He was about to run over to mourn over the death of his teammates until he felt steel pressed against his throat.

The Sound ninja that held the kunai sneered. "Don't worry… you'll join your teammates, soon…" he the reared his knife back to jab into Kasue's neck, "… IN HELL!"

The Sound ninja didn't even notice that Kasue looked sharply at him, his glowing red Sharingan meeting his cold onyx eyes. Looking right at the pupil; the Sound nin fell to the ground, lifeless. The Sound nin's buddies looked at the downed Kasue in a new light. "Ho ho… Orichimaru-sama is gonna have a blast when he sees this…" With that, Kasue was knocked out by a swift chop to the neck.

* * *

_**TIMESKIP, 6 DAYS!!**_

Kasue was on his knees, a Sound nin on either side of him, holding his arms out, and had his head downcast. "Iss it truee? Iss there an Uchiha in my pressencee?" a snakey voice called out. A pale white man with black hair and yellow eyes stepped out into the light and stared at his prey. "Yess… I can ssmell it… hiss body sshall be mine!" In a split-second, as soon as the man started what would come to be a genjutsu to switch bodies, a horrifying scream could be heard throughout the building. "Hiss intentionss! They're of pure malice! Even more sso then my own!" the man shouted.

The Sound ninjas looked worried. "Orochimaru-sama, are you alright? What do we do with the boy?" the Sound nin on the left asked.

"Take him to the laboratory. I sshall dig into hiss brain until I find out what kind of Ssharingan he iss posssesssion of!" the man named Orochimaru stated, malice and anger pouring out of his voice. The two Sound nins bowed their heads.

"Yes sir!"

* * *

_**TIMESKIP, 6 YEARS!!**_

We find an older, shirtless Kasue, being pierced by multiple needles and his face filled with sweat. His body started to pulse as electrical shockwaves were sent through his body and he then fell to his knees. "Orochimaru-sama? Why have you made your presence known, here?" A scientist who was working on Kasue asked.

"I think… it's time to mark him…" Orochimaru said before walking over to Kasue and knelt by him. "Boy… you have been here for ssix yearss… I've wanted your body ever since I laid my eyess on you… sso tell me… WHY CAN I NOT HAVE YOUR BODY?!" Orochimaru screamed at the lifeless form of Kasue. Kasue then started to chuckle.

"Heh, heh… you wanna know the real reason why, snakey? My willpower and instinct out-weigh yours tenfold. As long as you live on this terra… I would be alive, as well…" Kasue stated through hard breaths. Orochimaru started to cackle, madly.

"THEN STAY ALIVE AS MY SERVANT!" Orochimaru shouted and then sunk his teeth into Kasue's neck. Kasue yelled, in pain, various swear words to try and coax out the pain. Has that ever worked? EVER? Black chakra surrounded the two and once Orochimaru took his teeth out, a mark appeared. Then, that mark started to spread all over the right side of Kasue's back, all over his right arm, and stopped on the right side of his face. When Kasue's head finally rose to look at Orochimaru in the eye, it made Orochimaru fall to the ground; unconscious.

"Pity… his will is too strong, as well… I shall let him live… for now. You scientists, however, shall not be as lucky. DIE BY THE EYE OF THE BASALISK!" Kasue called before going on a killing spree…

_**END FLASHBACK**_

* * *

… and that's what happened." Kasue said to all of his students instead of just Naruto. "My adolescence was only celebrated by me. On my birthdays I got acid baths. Anymore questions, Naruto?" Kasue stated and than asked. Naruto couldn't even _LOOK _at his ramen; let alone eat it. That story was fucking horrible! "Well; looks like everyone had their fill. Let's grab some missions; shall we?"

* * *

**In a dog walking park…**

We find the genin members of Team Seven trying to take three simple dogs on a walk…

Make that two simple dogs and one big-ass one. It's like a detailed rendition of the bulldog from the "Tom & Jerry" cartoon! As luck had it; Naruto had to walk that dog. Or in this case, try to get it to fucking move! Can it even lift a paw?!

"C'mon, you stupid-ass dog! MOVE!" Naruto cried out, frustrated. Kasue sighed. It was simple really…

"Look underneath the underneath, Naruto…" Kasue called out before picking up a stick and then waving it around. "C'mon boy! You want the stick? You want the stick? GO GET THE STICK!" Kasue called out in a happy tone. Tossing the stick across the park.

As fate would have it; the dog sped off at mach 4 to grab the stick, dragging Naruto along. "Oh my God! I preferred it when it was on its assssss!!" Naruto called out before disappearing and the reappearing with the dog. The dog trotted over to Kasue and dropped the stick in front of him. Kasue shook his head.

"No more walking for you. You had your time. Let's roll, guys!" Kasue called out. Sakura let out a sigh of relief. This dog wouldn't walk. No, it would shit EVERYWHERE! Sayonara shitting dog!

* * *

**Hokage Tower…**

"Well done, Team Seven. That's another D-ranked mission down the shitter; speaking of shitter… that's your next mission: clean one." spoke an old man wearing regal robes and smoking out of a pipe. With that; Kasue objected.

"Forgive my intrusion, Lord Hokage, but I don't suppose you could give us a more… less menial task? That last mission is only good for pocket change, and plus: we filled our quota enough to take the Chunnin Exams. So cut us some slack! Give us a harder mission!" Kasue said formally yet some defiance could be heard in his tone. The Hokage sighed. Jonins these days… they'll be the death of him…

"Very well, very well… because of your hard work I'll give you a C-ranked mission. It's an escort. You must take bridge builder Tazuna to the Land of Waves, so he may finish the bridge set for economical purposes. Tazuna-san! You man come in, now." the Hokage called out to their new client.

… And what an interesting client he is! A man of about fifty years walked into the office, a sake bottle in his hand, and a smell that could rise the dead and kill them _AGAIN._ "This is my protection? Three runts and a blind man? These people can't even protect flies…" said the man known as Tazuna. With finishing that derogatory statement; he was lightly thrown into the wall by an oddly grinning Kasue.

"I'd advise you not to speak of me and my students like that. This mission hasn't started yet, so you aren't our client. Team Seven? Who here wants to beat the shit out of this drunk?" Kasue asked. With that, Sakura eagerly raced next to Kasue.

"Can I cut open his stomach, puh-leeeeeeeassee?" Sakura asked. Kasue sighed and answered with a, 'If you know how to sew it back up…' Sakura instantly cheered.

Oh the fun this mission will hold…

If Tazuna can live through it, at least…

**Yes, I know, I haven't updated in three days, and all those who are watching me (stalkers!) are probably pissed. Well here is your shit! TAKE IT AND ENJOY IT!**

**Just as an enlightenment; I'm working on the next chapter right now! GOD!**

**As always! Read, rave, review!**

**Ja ne!**

**-Jharoz**


	4. Dammit Zabuza!

**I'm back! Because my damned Mass Effect was calling, and you know what?**

**FUCK THE REVIEW COUNT! As long as you review I'll still update. And to all those who update; I'll be thinking of each and everyone of you, when I'm all alone on my bunk…**

**I feel like HollowRedBlood is sending me an indirect message through his fic… I know that thirteen-year-olds these days aren't fuck-crazy, but the reason why these two ARE shall be explained when the time comes. But he is right… they don't think of sex every waking moment of their fucking life! So fuck that! There will be sexual tensions throughout this entire fic!**

**Well… now that THAT ordeal is out of the way; lemme answer a couple of questions, set upon by the readers! And if you didn't ask it; who cares? I want to explain to SHARE my knowledge that you have yet to have!**

_**Why does Kasue have the band over his eyes? You never answered it directly…:**_** Plain and simple. His eyes are suspended in the "Basilisk Sharingan." If he were to remove his band over his eyes, then everyone around him will be fucked to high heavens. It's that simple!**

_**Why wasn't Inner Sakura in the last chapter?!:**_** I know! I'm just as disappointed as you all are! At most points throughout that chapter I couldn't find ONE spot to throw Inner Sakura into it. It was too powerful because Kasue was talking about how his life sucks, too! DAMN YOU KASUEEEE!!**

_**I could understand Inner Sakura not being in the chapter, but there was NO sexual tensions between Naruto and Sakura at all! Why the fuck is that?: **_**… You actually SCANNED through the entire chapter and concluded there was no sex? Whoopdedoo…**

_**If red and blue make purple; what does red and yellow make?:**_** I liked this question. It made me think. Hard. And here is my answer: Skittles!**

**So yeah, questions answered. Let's roll on over to wind797 with his fucking review!**

_**Wind797:**_** I know what you're saying, man. Computers these days BITE. Other than that, I'm not gonna make Naruto all Kyubbified and fuck Sakura and I'm not gonna make Inner Sakura just ravage Naruto out of the blue. You'll have to find out how they will have sex, and I promise you, it's gonna be fucking FUNNY. As for the oxygen comments: you have no periods or commas so how can you take a damn breath?**

**Shikamaru?**

**Shikamaru: Fuck you Jharoz. FUCK. YOU.**

**Me: Oh I'm hurt. What brought this along? Masturbate too hard?**

**Shikamaru: You know what? I'm outta here… he turns around and walks off giving the middle finger**

**Me: Well, shit. Now I have to give Temari to someone else…**

**Shikamaru: eye twitches You win this time, Jharoz… Jharoz and I don't own Naruto, because of the damn lawsuit only gave us 50,000. Dammit…**

**Jiraya: Once for the money, twice for the show; three to get ready, and here we fucking goooooo!**

* * *

_**Leaf Village Gates; 7:55 a.m.**_

Sakura was pissed. No, she was beyond pissed. She was… oh fuck I can't even think of something to describe her. Let's just say she was so pissed it's like she was on her period, m'kay? "Where in FUCK'S sake is Kasue-sensei?!" Sakura PMS'ed. Naruto could only sigh. Why does she always have to yell in the morning?

"Sakura-chan, take it easy. Remember what happened last time you were commenting on Kasue-sensei's 'appearing' skills?" Naruto asked. Sakura then instantly paled and shut up. Having a twenty-one year old lean against your back is just fucking freaky! Having that thought, she felt a weight crashing on her head. Sakura desperately tried to look up and saw black lock flowing through the wind. OH FUCK NAH!

"Kasue-sensei…" Sakura strained to say, "GET OFF MY FUCKING HEAD!" With that, the Uchiha jumped off and landed on his feet. With all of Team Seven assembled, yes, including the ever-silent emo Sasuke, all that was left was the old man. He had to spend the night in the hospital because the ever-innocent Sakura flared her chakra scalpel to the size of the Hokage Tower itself. Suffice it to say; even the bastard emo Sasuke showed something which he was not proud of. Shitting his pants. Oh, man! Naruto had material for that the whole entire day. My favorite one had to be, "I think you need a science fair to wipe that shit off your ass!"

A few moments later the old man named Tazuna walked down the path and met up with what has got to be his worst nightmare, yet. He found the chicken assed-black haired EMO (!) knelt down and if he strained to hear he could hear some kind of liquid crashing on the ground **(A/N: You all know what he is doing. It's something ALL emos do!)**. He saw the pink haired MENACE(!!) talking/flirting with the blonde haired FREAK(!!). Lastly he found the black haired styled to make him look like a TRANSVESTITE(!!)… wait… where the fuck did he go?

"Be careful with your thoughts; I don't respect or tolerate my team and myself being bashed," Kasue started off with a kunai knife's tip pointed at Tazuna's neck. "I see all… no pun intended." Kasue finished and sheathed his weapon. "Team Seven; move out!" With that, Team Seven went in a box-like barrier around Tazuna with Naruto at front, Sakura on the left, Sasuke on the right, and Kasue bringing up the rear.

A few moments into the expedition; something piqued Kasue's interest. A puddle; when there was no rain for over a week? _'Mist Ninja… not very good at hiding themselves…' _Kasue thought. Musing to himself; he thought this as killing two birds with one stone. He could figure out what the Mist Ninja wanted and his team could practice up some teamwork.

Fast as lightening; two chunin ninja cane out of the puddle, and hurled what would look like some kind of claw thing at Kasue. Kasue was humming to himself when a chain wrapped around his body, coming out of the ninjas' claws. Yanking on the chain; Kasue's body was effectively ripped to pieces. Naruto looked behind him, and only faltered for a second before going on the offensive alongside Sasuke with Sakura covering Tazuna.

Naruto and Sasuke made eye contact and then both nodded. Naruto and Sasuke charged towards one ninja while the other one made a charge to Tazuna, claw at the ready. Sasuke threw a kunai knife, impaling it in an open link in the ninja's chain. The ninja's chain got caught on a tree; pinning him to it. Naruto chose this time to attack. He and two other clones jumped/charged at the pinned ninja and significantly decimated him.

Sakura saw the other ninja charging at her, and she decided to easily defeat him. She ducked down and the ninja smirked, easier pickings, right? "Die, old man!" the ninja called out before Sakura brought up her foot and crushed his jaw. Just before the ninja regained his balance he was instantly sliced in half by a serious-face Kasue.

Kasue sheathed his katana and looked at his team. "Well done, guys! I got nothing to say to you, I doubt any of you knew I was alive; huh?" Kasue said, then grinned. Naruto, Sasuke, and Sakura all faltered. They all thought he was dead…

Kasue walked up to the mass of flesh Naruto beat the shit out of, and he kicked the ninja's face. "Tell me why to you were going for the old man, or you'll end up like your friend over there," Kasue said and then pointed his thumb over his shoulder at the split-in-half carcass behind him. The ninja paled.

"Eh, heh, heh… you wouldn't ACTUALLY do that to me; would you?" the ninja asked through his breathing mask. Kasue's instantly blew into a maniacal grin. He quickly un-sheathed his katana and made a clean slice at the neck.

"Well; with that out of the way, we can finally get back to taking this long-ass walk…" Kasue said and then his shoulders drooped. Naruto stared at his sensei incredulously. How the fuck can you kill and then act like nothing happened?!

Naruto shook his head to clear out those thoughts and decided to actually liven this shitty traveling experience. "This is my first time out of the village; anyone else's?" Naruto spoke out, grabbing everyone's attention.

Sasuke nodded. "I was too busy spending time in my house to get out of the village," he said and then looked at the multiple slices on his wrists.

Sakura sweat-dropped and said, "Do I even WANT to fucking know? No, Naruto, I've been outside the village before. I needed to get some special herbs for a couple elixirs."

Kasue tilted his head to the sky and said, "Of course it isn't mine, you should know that."

With that; silence fell upon the five people walking. Tazuna, while still standing in the middle, being protected from all sides, thought to himself. _'FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK!! This is soooooooo not fucking good… fuck! FUCK SHIT TITTIES ASS MONKEY BITCHING COCK SUCK CUNT FUCKER! SHIT! DAMMIT! Fucking bounty hunters are gonna come around fuck me up the asshole! DAMMIT! Then take me to fucking Gato, so HE can call up his body-guards and have a fucking ORGY with me! FUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCKKKKKK!!'_ Basically; Tazuna is shitting bricks, at the moment. Poor little fucker…

* * *

**A fuck-load of walking, later…**

The five travelers finally made it to a fucking boat to get over the fucking river that lead to the Land of fucking Waves **(A/N: Good use of 'fuck,' right there…)**. Embarking a boat, ran by a man wearing a hat similar to the one Tazuna is wearing, they rode of into the mist; trying to get to Tazuna's abode in record time.

A few moments in, Naruto's eyes half-bulged. A mountainous, uncompleted bridge marveled before the small boat. "Wow, it's fucking huge…" Naruto murmured. Sasuke heard what Naruto said and silently agreed before going back to sharpening his kunai. Not that he was gonna use them on his enemies, mind you…

Kasue 'saw' the bridge just fine, along with Sakura. Both nodded in silent agreement. That spot is probably gonna be the biggest pain in the ass yet.

Passing through a tunnel and hitting light; a semi-large port city could be found. Driving the party up to a dock, the driver bid his farewell and fucking cheesed it. Tazuna turned to Kasue and said, "Take me home, and try not to get me fucking killed, please." Kasue folded his arms but agreed nonetheless.

* * *

**More damn walking, later…**

Walking to a fucking house could never be so goddamned BORING! Wait… in a split-second a kunai was thrown into the brush. "I heard something!" Naruto called out and then ran over to where the kunai landed with the party in tow. Pushing away the bushes, they saw a snow-white rabbit impaled into a tree. "Me and my fucking reflexes…" Naruto mock-wailed. He knew the real reasoning behind the rabbit; he has done that many times before, too.

"EVERYONE DOWN!" Kasue roared suddenly, making everyone drop to the ground ASAP. A fucking big-ass sword came flying through the trees, it heading right towards a standing Kasue. Kasue lifted his right arm, muttered a single word and caught the sword rocketing toward him. After briefly inspecting the sword, Kasue called out, "Zabuza Momochi… I never expected one of the seven to be called out just kill an old geezer…" Kasue trailed and while saying this next bit, he threw the sword into the trees, "…for no apparent reason!"

The sword hit bark and then a man with a bandaged face and camo armguards stood on top of the sword. He looked down at Kasue with disgust. "You honestly think you can kill me with my own sword? Have you not forgotten the swordsman code? You truly aren't the Basilisk you once were…" the bandaged man called out.

Kasue shrugged and said, "People change. And I don't need to be a Basilisk in order to whoop your sorry ass. Take your fucking piece and let's get this shit started." Kasue drew his katana while the man pulled his sword out of the tree. "Zabuza, for a swordsman, you know nothing. You are like a child. Face facts to adults!"

With a shout of anger, Zabuza charged directly at Kasue. Zabuza pulled back in the air and down-ward slashed at Kasue. Kasue brought his katana up, and easily blocked the blow. Zabuza continued his vicious assault of slashes from everywhere, only to have Kasue block or evade them all. Jumping back from a slash to the left, Kasue lunged and cut Zabuza's left shoulder. "GAAAHHH! DIE YOU FUCKER!" Zabuza howled and the fired another volley out.

Kasue ducked at another right slash and socked Zabuza in the gut, knocking the wind out of him. "Team Seven! Defensive perimeter around Tazuna! NOW!" Kasue called out. The trio of genin instantly took out a kunai and went in a triangle around Tazuna, not letting an inch of him uncovered. Kasue nodded and looked at his enemy. "With my client protected… you shall soon figure out the reason why I am a feared 'Basilisk,'" Kasue called out to Zabuza who just stood back up.

Kasue rushed and kicked at Zabuza's upper torso, which he barely deflected and sent him back into a large pond. Zabuza quickly reacted to the environment change and then cackled maniacally. "YOU FOOL! YOU CANNOT BEAT ME IN MY OWN ELEMENT!" Zabuza shouted to Kasue, who, at the moment, was in the air for a follow-up attack.

Kasue 'looked' at Zabuza incredulously. "Oh yeah?" he countered, his katana aimed to dive right into Zabuza's head…

… However, his plan backfired. Zabuza seemed to control the water, and guided it to Kasue; trapping him in a vortex of water. "Fuck! Team Seven! Get Tazuna and go! This mission is a fuck-up!" Kasue called out, trapped in the water.

Naruto looked at Kasue. He looked so helpless. "No fucking way, Kasue-sensei! We need to save you!" Naruto shouted out. Zabuza looked at the three brats in front of him.

"I only need a clone to stop you three…" Zabuza called out in an eerie voice. "Water clone jutsu…" The water from the pond flowed out onto the ground and soon formed itself into an exact replica of the original Zabuza. "You brats and the geezer are gonna fucking die!" the clone called out.

Naruto and Sasuke nodded and decided the best way to beat one is to have two. "Sakura-chan, can you protect Tazuna?" Naruto whispered into Sakura's ear. Sakura, who though enjoyed feeling his hot breath in her ear, had a mission with these two… Fine, damn it. But if they die… All she could do was nod.

Naruto and Sasuke walked to Zabuza and stared at him, hard. "So, why the fuck is a dirty cunt like you working for a dirtier cunt like Gato? I guess the Mist really lowered their standards," Naruto taunted. The water clone grew a tick mark.

"It seems as if the Leaf haven't improved much, either. Still going through with that old bag of a Hokage? Can't you see he will die eventually?" Zabuza countered and then lifted his sword to point at the two boys. "You Leaf are filth. How can you act so carefree when you know the threat of death awaits? That's what separates the jonin from the genin." Zabuza charged, big-ass sword at the ready, and swooped his sword across the two boys, cutting them in half from the waist…

And then they exploded to puffs of dust. "If you honestly think you can fucking distinguish a ninja by rank…" the Zabuza clone heard from behind him, "… YOU AREN'T A SHINOBI!" Naruto called then hit the bottom of the hilt of Zabuza's blade with his foot, knocking it out of his hand. The sword headed right towards Sasuke who moved to the left; caught the blade, and with all his might, swung downwards on the clone; dispelling its body and its sword. "Damn, I liked that sword…" Sasuke muttered.

Kasue saw this display of action and was thoroughly impressed. They didn't even need to say a word. Maybe Naruto wasn't as straight as he lets on… nah… Though it was an impeccable feat. Zabuza, on the other hand, was fucking FUMED! He tore his hand out of the prison that held Kasue and headed right towards the brats that dare call him an underling.

… He forgot about Kasue, though. Before Zabuza left the pond; he got sent back from a powerful kick. Zabuza skidded back on the water, and then his eyes widened. "Fuck… so you decided to pull a card out didn't you, Basilisk?!" Zabuza called out to Kasue.

Kasue was in a peculiar taijutsu stance. He was on all fours and seemed to only use one limb to attack while the other three supported his weight, even if it wasn't THAT much…

"Thiss iss all I need to kill you, Zabuzzza… I guesss you finally get to meet a form of the Bassilissk…" Kasue called out in a kind of hiss. It's the hiss that you probably hear from a fucking snake-chicken mixed and… oh… that's a Basilisk. Heh…

Kasue sprang out and then landed on both hands and his left leg while the right leg axel-kicked Zabuza's skull. As Zabuza went under the water, Kasue reached in an threw him up in the air. Poised to do a move only soccer player can do, Kasue called out a phrase he'll come to use often, soon. "Striking Basilisk of Black Sunlight!" Kasue brought his foot down into Zabuza's gut, and the thing is; his foot didn't stop. Kasue tore right through Zabuza and as Kasue landed on the water, kneeling down with his arms outward, Zabuza's mutilated, scorching corpse landed on the surface then sunk to the bottom.

Naruto watched his sensei pull out that fucking crazy move with a little bit of awe and… horror. How can it be that he just fucking destroyed Zabuza with his foot?! Sasuke was thinking along the same lines. His sensei just pulled off a move that hadn't been seen in… nearly 20 years. The Uchiha Clan couldn't just do that move! Not even Itachi could!

As Kasue felt the need to leave his body and join dreamland for a while, he called out, "Hunter-nin, don't even try it. He was my kill and you damn well better not touch him."

Out of the branches came a masked girl… or was it a dude? Fuck, this is hard… Then HE called out in a tone that sounded of a boy's.

"Zabuza Momochi is my target. He is wanted by the Third Mizukage dead or alive. Unless you are insinuating that you want a war between the two nations, I suggest you let me have Zabuza's corpse." the boy called out calmly.

Kasue was breathing raggedly. "I'm not in the mood to take your bullshit… leave… it's not the time for the Basilisk to show his true nature…" Kasue warned/breathed out. He did NOT want to use his eyes, lest… the hunter-nin wanted to die a cold death.

"I have no time for your games. Hand me the corpse." the boy called out. What he didn't see coming was an un-head-banded Kasue looking at his eyes. His eyes… thee pupils were that of a chicken's, but the irises were colored a snake-like yellow. The boy froze, not even coming close to moving. Kasue removed the mask to show the boy's face, which was frozen as well. Stone started traveling up the boy's face and it soon cover his entire face. Kasue sighed.

"Sorry, but this is the only way you needed to die, kid. Trying to protect a fucker like that… unforgivable. Naruto. Bring me my headband." Kasue called out. Naruto complied quickly. He could feel the tension radiating off of Kasue. It was like the feeling of an egg that is about to hatch. But in this case, if the egg hatches; we will all be fucked.

Handing the discarded cloth back to Kasue, he quickly replaced it over his eyes. Kasue sighed a breath of relief. The Basilisk's power was no joke, and he didn't want to use it. Kasue placed a hand on Naruto's shoulder. "Naruto. I'm proud of how you and Sasuke and Sakura handled the situation. You three are truly ninjas that defeat Zabuza on so many levels. Hold your heads up high, because I have a feeling that if you hold them high enough… I might be able to rise my head, too. Now… I'm out." Kasue collapsed.

Sakura rushed over to Kasue and checked his status. "Just minor chakra depletion; he'll be up in about 2 days.." Sakura analyzed. Even at a time as serious as this; Naruto had to go and say it…

"SAKURA-CHAN, THAT IS SO COOL!" he called out in a childish voice. Sakura blushed with embarrassment, Sasuke face palmed and muttered: 'Moron,' and Tazuna… well right now he is clawing at the bark of a tree calling out, "That fucking guy will kill me… that fucking guy will kill me! I'm too young to die!!"

With that said; the Angel of Death appeared and looked at Tazuna. "Oh you are SO fucking dead. Whether it'll be that guy or a fucking cold; you're gonna die within the timespan of 4 months. GET THE FUCK OVER IT." the Angel(?) explained and then flew away. Tazuna's reaction to that: the color drained from his eyes, he passed out, and foam came out of his mouth. Naruto instantly stopped and looked over at Tazuna.

"Fuh-king Su-pah…" Naruto said, adding some Chinese accent to it **(A/N: I soooooo do that shit all the time…)**. "We gotta drag TWO asses home. TWO. Does God find this like a fucking JOKE?!" Naruto screamed to the heaven's expecting to hear nothing.

Not true! A powerful voice came down. "I find it fucking hilarious, actually. That Jharoz knows his shit, ha ha…" Naruto face palmed. Now all he needed to do was see Satan and his religious icon hunt would be complete.

'**I'm fucking inside you, brat; did you for get that?!'**

* * *

**OH MAN! THAT WAS SOME GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD SHIT! ACTION PACKED! GORE! WE FINALLY KNOW WHAT THE FUCK IS UNDER THE FUCKING HOOD; IN A MANNER OF SPEAKING! WHOA!**

**I'm fucking pissed, though. WHERE THE FUCK IS INNER SAKURA?! HELP ME FIND HER!**

**And Now… you know…**

**Read, rave, review.**

**Jharoz**


	5. Ask Kasue and He Will Answer

_**Wow… I just realized…**_

_**Around 1,500 hits. 19 reviews.**_

…_**. Dammit. Did I do something wrong? Do you guys not want me to think about you while I lay, lonesome in my bed? Just… talk! I'm open! Throw me an idea! (Get it?!)**_

_**Hey; it's time to chat it up with wind797!**_

_**Wind797**_**: As always; you prefer not breathe, but it's all good. I can't wait for the lemon, if I do say so, myself… I'm sure Shikamaru is already having fantasies. And you can wait? Uh-huh… I'd like to see that. A drunk sailor? Hmm… throw him off a boat and say he fell in and then drowned? I don't know, dammit…**

**Question to all readers! There is a murder at a farm, but no one is dead. How is this so?**

**Shikamaru, if you will?**

**Shikamaru: God dammit… I'll say it as long as you point your fucking gun somewhere else!**

**Me: Oh, shit… HE ISN'T BEING HELD AT GUNPOINT; I SWEAR!**

**Shikamaru: Bleh, fuck it… Jharoz isn't in possession of Naruto. However he owns a guitar that costs ten times the amount than his piece of shit Jaguar…**

**Me: … FUCK YOU! THAT JAGUAR WAS A GIFT! SOMEONE GET ME A FUCKING CASTRATION KIT!! STAT!**

**Jiraya: Hooo shit… um… on your marks… get set… GORILLA! … Nah I'm just fucking with ya; GO!**

* * *

_**Tazuna's Abode…**_

Naruto couldn't take the tension anymore. His sensei has been out for three days now (THREE!), Tazuna's grandson, Inari, was being a whiny bitch and is starting to follow the steps of Sasuke, and, and, AND! "Sakura-chan. Now is not the time to fool around," Naruto deadpanned.

Sakura, had a very compromising position, indeed. She had her arms circle around Naruto's neck, while she held herself up air by clamping her legs around his waist. For most people, it would look like they were in some kind of sexed up piggy-back ride. Uuuughhh…

A mumble pulled the two from their thoughts, and both looked over to Kasue, who was just waking up. "Naaagghhh…" Kasue grumbled out, "wait… oh shit! I can't see! NOO! DAMMIT! WHY?! WHY GOD?!" he called, fake anime tears flowing under his head-band.

"Kasue-sensei… the band?" Naruto said, his right eye twitching.

"GRAAA-…… oh… right… eh heh…" Kasue chuckled weakly. With a snap of his fingers Kasue saw his surrounding area. A decent homey spot. A nice sea breeze that would tingle the air with salt water. Perfect place to hang out; just not live. Kasue's head turned to where Sakura and Naruto were, and he grew a sweat drop. "Any particular reason you guys look like a sexed up version of a piggy-back ride?" Kasue asked.

Naruto whipped out two index fingers and nailed Sakura in her sides; causing her to release her vice grip on Naruto. Sakura, albeit ungracefully, fell to the floor, laughing at the nerves Naruto poked. "Sorry, Kasue-sensei… he's just so… nyaaaghhhh…" Sakura said and then started to drool. Inner Sakura decided that she went unheard long enough! **(A/N: I'm as excited as you guys are! INNER SAKURA FTW!)**

'_**Nyahhahaha!! YES! DO IT! FEEL THE SCULPTURE OF THAT GOD WE CALL A YOUNG MAN! GROPE HIS COCK TILL YOU LEAVE IMPRANTS OF YOUR FINGERS ALONG HIS SHAFT! DON'T BE A PUSSY! DO IT! DO IT! DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT DO IT! PLEASE! I NEED HIS PHYSIQUE!!' **_Inner Sakura continued to come along with all sorts of pleasurable activities for the two hormonally-stressed-out teenagers. Kasue, who had the uncanny ability to read thoughts, growled mentally.

'_Why is it that the generation before you always has a better form of sex than the last?! I envy you, Naruto… when I lost my virginity; I only got to do one position. Juno couldn't even keep up with me…'_ Kasue was making an entire list of all the things Inner Sakura was thinking so he could 'test' them out on his lover. Juno will have to take an energy drink before doing the hibee-jibee with Kasue next time around…

Sakura, at the moment, was on her knees, drooling. _'Must… have… Naruto's… penis……………' __**'YES! YOU'RE SPEAKING MY LANGUAGE, SISTER!'**__ 'Must… wait… till… kiss… and… date…'_ Inner Sakura smacked her head. How the hell she puts up with her host; I have no idea. _**'But! Penis! Really big! And! Mouth! Orifices! Butt hole! Vagina! SOMEWHERE! Hands! I just wanna feel his penis!'**_ Inner Sakura cried out. Is it that much to ask to give an entity a young man's penis?!

Naruto, who is rather exceptional at depth perception, is now cut off from the group. He looked over at Sakura -who had a hungry glint in her eye and razor sharp teeth that put a demon's to shame-, and she looked at him, then down at her prize. So close, yet so far… Then Naruto looked over at Kasue who was in a corner with a storm cloud over his head; muttering.

Sasuke decided to make his appearance; kicking open the door, blasting it off its hinges. "Hey, Kasue-sensei. You're up. What's with the storm cloud? I bet I could do better." Sasuke said. Kasue pushed himself up, and the got back into 'sensei' mode.

"Alright team! I can ASSURE you that Zabuza and his accomplice are dead, you wanna know why?" Kasue asked. Naruto was the only one who heard, who in comply, nodded. Sakura was still staring at Naruto's man root like coyote about to consume its prey; while Sasuke was sitting in the same corner Kasue was sitting in, with a storm cloud filling the entire room. "Ok, Sasuke! Damn! Put that thing away before your emoness becomes contagious! Ugh!" Kasue called in disgust.

After addressing the team's… state of mind… the trio finally had they're learning eyes on for Kasue. "Zabuza is dead; no questions. I completely destroyed his liver with the Basilisk of Black Sunlight. It also burned up the rest of his body. Heh…" Kasue said "as for Zabuza's accomplice; no questions either."

Naruto looked up. "But all he did was turn to stone, Kasue-sensei…"

"My Basilisk's eyes are far too hard for you to understand, but I'll try and shorten it down. When you look into my real eyes, you don't just freeze up and die. No it's much worse than that." Kasue stated darkly.

"Wha-wha-wha-what happens, Kasue-sensei?" Sakura asked dramatically.

"All your deeds that are considered 'mortally sinful' are flown through your eyes** ( A/N: Think of the 'Penance Eye' from Skull Rider)**." Kasue stated. "That's why Basilisks were once considered holy. You act up; they do bad shit crazy stuff to you. Then, when your writhing in emotional pain, you feel as though your sins cut into you and clam you up. The boy was turned into a memorial for what is to come… don't think we got rid of Gato and his thugs, yet." Kasue concluded.

The trio nodded and Sakura looked up in question. "Then are we supposed to watch from the sidelines again like last time?" she huffed.

"Haha! Not at all! Not at all! That's what I was planning on, anyways! If you would all follow me." Kasue said and then waved his hand signaling for the three to follow him.

* * *

_**Somewhere, out in the forest conveniently placed by Tazuna's house…**_

Kasue was leaning against a tree with his arms folded. Naruto can be found staring up at the tree Kasue was in. Yes, Kasue was leaning against the trunk of the tree, but… a lot higher up than ground-level. "This exercise seems simple, but it really isn't. You must focus your chakra to the soles of your shoes to make them a glue-like substance. You have to walk up the tree WITHOUT using your hands in anyway, shape, or form, other than for balance, and marking your spot with these kunai knives." Kasue called out and threw three kunai; each one landing in front of a different team member. "Basically: you have to walk up the tree, if your hands touch the tree; you start all over again. I'm confident that you guys can prevail. Pretty soon you can do this," Kasue said and then hung upside down from a tree branch. "You do that; I'll teach you the next step. Something I did in my fight with Zabuza. Dismissed!" Kasue called out, and then disappeared to guard over Tazuna.

"I wonder what Kasue-sensei is planning on teaching us…" Naruto's voice called out. Sasuke nodded in agreement. If it was that kick ass 'Black Sunlight' shit… Life would be _swell._

Sakura opted to go first, and brought focus to her feet and ran up the trunk, quickly. Her foot steps were light, quick, and easily describable. Sakura kept going, and going, and going, and guess what? More going. She reached the top rather quickly and stood on the needle point of the tree. "How was that?" Sakura called out in a victorious voice,

"Pissed off-worthy material, Sakura-chan!" Naruto answered. He was proud, yes, but she made it seem TOO easy. Something told him this wasn't going to be… enjoyable. Little did he know, that he was probably going to do better than the fucking Uchiha prodigy…

* * *

_**Two days later…**_

A beat-up Naruto and Sasuke walked into Tazuna's house with a smug smile on their faces, interrupting lunch. Tazuna's daughter, Tsunami, wrinkled her nose in disgust. They need a shower… "We did it, Kasue-sensei…" Naruto's exasperated voice said. Kasue's mood lightened. They're not as good with chakra control as Sakura is, but he suspected it would've at least taken them three more days.

"Extremely… good job… guys," Kasue said between bites. "Now… with a little… help… the bridge can… be done… in a few days… right, Tazuna? Mmm! Tsunami-chan, you just HAVE to tell me how you make this wanton soup!" Kasue said enthusiastically.

Tazuna rubbed his neck and said, "Yeah, the bridge is coming along. It'll take maybe three days to get finished with it. Then the economy of the Land of Waves can finally oust out of bankruptcy."

Inari, who was sipping his soup, decided that the sappy shit was ENOUGH! "Why do you ninja care?! You're all gonna die! Gato and his thugs have analyzed the battle and are planning to kill you all! So why?! What makes it so important to risk your neck for another village with complete disregard?!" he said in a frustrated voice. Naruto, who was laying his head down on the table, decided to answer.

Waving down his subordinates, Naruto spoke. "We fight because it's a just manner. Nobody deserves A life filled with misery and dread. Especially not a whole country. Don't you get it?! We're helping you! BE GREATFUL!" Naruto said in a thundering tone.

Inari was gathering tears with every word that came out of Naruto's mouth. Was there really a reason as to why a bunch of ninja just decided to help a poor country, now of all times?

Sasuke sighed. "Naruto has a point, kid. What's the point of disregarding help when you never even asked for it? This is our problem now, too. We thrust this upon ourselves, and we'll take every inch of heat thrust upon you." he said

"We even saved your grandpa from ninja Gato hired, earlier. Why can't you just accept the fact we're here to help, and we want to help?" Sakura chimed in.

"In short, your stuck with us, kiddo. No matter how much you try to weasel your way out of it; we're here. And we'll stay here until the economy balances out." Kasue finished.

Inari was bawling by now. _'Dammit! Why do they have to care so much?! What did we ever do to them to butt into our affairs?! Why can't they just go back to the village where they came from?!'_ Inari ranted in his head. This did not go unnoticed by Kasue.

Faster than most can see, Inari was raised by the straps of his overalls by Naruto. Kasue was thoroughly pissed by Inari's thoughts , but not near as much as Naruto; who heard the whole entire thing from another room. Naruto scolded Inari, saying, "You are an arrogant, unforgivable, brat. You know that, don't you? We're here to protect yours, your mother's, and your grandfather's asses and all you can do is act spiteful toward us? Would you rather be hunted by Gato, and his men until they killed off every last villager of your land, like what happened to your father?! Huh?!"

Inari was shocked. They knew of his father? "Or would you prefer to die of starvation by the bridge not being completed, because your grandfather was murdered?! No matter what we do, it's always as if there's something wrong with us! So tell me, what would you like for us to do, leave here to let you die, or stay here and protect you?!" Naruto finished by dropping Inari and storming off to the dock.

Kasue shook his head. Not at Naruto, but at Inari. "Reflect on what he said, kid." was all that came out of Kasue's mouth before he stood up and followed Naruto out to the dock.

Naruto was mindlessly looking at where the sky touched the water. Where heaven met the earth. Kasue took a spot next to Naruto and said in a brotherly tone** (A/N: For all of those who read FMA; you'll remember this.)**, "You were right about everything back there. Inari was being an insolent brat. But you must learn to endure."

Naruto didn't look up, but snorted. "Why should I forgive him? He never even asked for it."

Kasue nodded, knowingly. "Don't get mixed up here. Enduring and forgiving are two completely different things. We can never truly forgive someone for the acts they've done to us. We have every right to be upset. However, we must learn to endure that anger. Someone has to stand up and sever the bonds of anger. If one let's their anger control them; they're no better than an animal. Even if this entire country rejects us ninja; we are still humans. Never stoop to that level. As the tenth tailed beast would say: no matter what the hardships; no matter what the costs. We must persevere." Kasue said, sagely.

The last phrase caught Naruto's attention and he stared up at Kasue with awe. This man… he seemed like some kind of emissary, acting upon the Basilisks as if they were his God. Could it be that this man's power was beyond those comprehensible of a Kage?! The fox decided to clear things up. **'Kit, you're looking at what seems to be…**

'**A cliffhanger…'**

Naruto's eyes widened. "Noooooo!"

* * *

**I feel as bad as Naruto does. NOOOOO!! Who the fuck IS Kasue?!**

**Inner Sakura is 100 percent back, bitch. And hornier than ever. Popcorn, anyone?**

**You know what to do.**

**Read. Rave. Review**

**Ja ne!**

**Jharoz**


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